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On my way home from work yesterday I called a friend to express my frustration about my own mental state (I’m an extravert, so processing out loud is my preferred processing style). I told him that almost every day of my last two half marathon training cycles I was excited and thinking about the race. This time, however, is different. The excitement isn’t there quite as much. In place of excitement is fear and frustration. This nasty IT band thing that started back in September is still clinging on, although I have been really dedicated about not pushing myself and foam rolling and doing strengthening exercises, and I hope things are improving. Anyways, like I said, I’m just not as excited. Maybe the newness has worn off? I think that last weekend’s 5k run didn’t help so much. While I knew that conditions were tough, I haven’t had a great run since the Thanksgiving Day Gobble Wobble, and my frustration was starting to really get to me.
I headed out today for a 3.5 mile run, and for the first mile and a half my heart just wasn’t in it. I was physically running but my mind was checked out, full of doubt and frustration. I finally kicked myself into gear, stopped throwing a pity party, and ran. While I had a few slight twinges of pain in my right knee, this run felt pretty great (I stretched out my legs for almost 30 minutes last night which I think really helped).
Overall I felt pretty great about my run. Here’s what it looked like:
At the start of my last half marathon training cycle, I had just come off training for a triathlon, so I was in great shape (unlike this time where I’m in good shape, but my last race in November). Here’s what my 3.5 mile run looked like then:
Today’s run (the above numbers) wasn’t actually that much worse than the run at the beginning of September- not even a minute different! While I’m frustrated that I haven’t improved, I know that I can’t expect that out of my body. And so, this run was all about the mental fight; to keep my head in the game and shut down the negative thoughts. It’s time to once again remind myself that with having POTS, I should be grateful that I can even run and race.
And I keep going back to the quote behind this post that I wrote right before my first half marathon.
Now it’s your turn to share! How do you fight the mental battle when you’re out on a run?
Honestly, this is why I’m taking a break from running. I LOVED training for my half, and then when it was over, I was kind of whatever about running. Then I signed up for my 10K in the fall thinking it would motivate me and I’d find joy in running in the cooler fall temps, but my heart was never in it. Now it’s snowy and in the high 20s and I’m not thinking about running at all. I’m loving weight lifting, yoga, hiking, and volleyball… and I decided that’s ok. Maybe spring will lure me out into a run with some beautiful weather!
The mental battle is almost always more of a challenge then the physical aspect of running … I deal by remembering how much of blessing it is that I CAN run. That others would give anything to be out there. 🙂 but then sometimes I can’t help but grumble …then I put myself in time out haha
The tug of war between emotions can definitely be strong. Maybe I just need to give myself a stern little lecture:)
I had an attitude towards running last year after my first half. Just take a little break and then add some interval training. Just keep spicing it up 🙂
[…] Today was the most excited I felt running since Thanksgiving Day, so that’s a great sign, since training didn’t start on a great foot. […]