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Yesterday my precious little cat, Pooky, died. It wasn’t sudden, and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to really say goodbye. On sunday my parents called and let me say goodbye to him over Facetime. I sang him his favorite song (I always sang “soft kitty” from big bang theory to him when he was scared or upset). He was definitely not himself at all that day- his eyes were glazed over, he could hardly walk, and he hadn’t eaten or drank almost at all over the last few days. I knew it was time to let him go, but it’s such a tough decision to make.
I got Pooky when I was in 4th grade. He wasn’t supposed to be my cat; he was bought for my brothers. The day we got him, my brothers played with him, and when they were done, I was allowed to play with him. He curled up in my lap and from that moment on, he chose me. He loved everyone in my family, but he loved me and was attached to me in a way that was totally different.
He was constantly by my side, whether I was doing homework, getting ready for bed, or eating dinner. I loved having him around constantly. Leaving him for college was so difficult, because I went months without seeing him.
Once we got iPhones it was much easier, and I started to call and then FaceTime frequently. There have been plenty of times where I’ve “played” with him and talked to him for 30 minutes on the phone, and it’s been so fun.
The last 3 summers I’ve spent at my parents’ house, and he was like my shadow. He would cry until I would put him down for a nap and lay next to him and rub him as he fell asleep. When I went outside to work he would follow me room to room throughout the house and watch me. When I got home from things he was immediately at the door to say hello.
Pooky was completely in touch with my emotions, and could immediately sense when things weren’t quite right. Starting the few days before our dog, Casey, died in 2010, he would curl up next to Casey, like he knew. Whenever was sick or good my wisdom teeth out, he was by my side all day.
He always wanted to be carried around, and I held him just like a baby- either on his back in the crook of my arm, or on my hip with legs spread on either side. He loved to wrap his arms around my neck when I picked him up to give him hugs. I would hold him as I cooked because he didn’t want to be put down.
At dinner he would sit there with me while I ate.
When I worked on my computer he would sit there too.
He slept in bed with me, with his head on his pillow and his arms wrapped around my arm.
He could sense when I was upset, and would rub my forehead and nose with his paw just like I did with him. He would like me right in the spot on my head where I kiss him.
Sometimes when I picked him up he would jam his head into my mouth until I kissed his head and he was satisfied with it.
He loved Christmas, and would spend the day curled up with all of us.
This cat was totally dependent on me and totally and completely loved and cared for me, and I in turn deeply and completely loved him.
This is the last real picture we took together, the last night I was home with him. Music was on, and we danced a bit together. He loved to bounce around a little bit, and he had a great time.
In so many ways this cat saved my life growing up, and I feel a little bit like I lost my baby.
My heart is really broken right now, and I’ve certainly cried quite a bit. I love my little beebee more than words can express, and I’m so thankful that I had the wonderful privilege of loving him and being loved by him for the last 17 years. I’m also glad that I had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday this year.
I’ll miss his hugs, his constant love and attentiveness towards me, and the joy and laughter that he brought to not only my life, but the rest of my family is well. He was loved so deeply, and in return he loved deeply as well. I will forever be thankful for the 17 years I had with him.
** sorry for any spelling errors or things that don’t make sense. I’m pretty exhausted and upset right now as I type this. Please forgive me for the lack of structure and order….
So sorry to hear this, friend. Pets really are so special. I hope sharing this helped you start your healing. Sending you hugs. <3
Thanks so much Melissa. Pets really become just like family, and it makes the loss of them pretty difficult. I loved getting to write this out and look through some of the pictures I have of him. Thanks for taking the time to read 🙂
Caroline, this makes me cry. I know how important my cat Benny is to me and could not imagine losing him. That must have been so hard for you to say goodbye. I seriously wish I could give you a big hug. 🙁 Keeping you in my thoughts.
It’s been a pretty sad week, for sure. I’ll take a virtual hug, even if it isn’t in person. I’m so glad you have a pet that you love and care about too! Aren’t they great?